Am I parenting or actually pushing ?

I recall myself as a child,

  • I am very glad that I was into dance class in my childhood which is one of my passion now.
  • I was into hindi class, still not good in Hindi even now.
  • I regret the fact that I was never put into a swimming class.
  • Academics wise, there is only one rank that will get me applause from my parents, rest all ranks have same effects. That is FIRST RANK and yes I had been school topper several times.

Now I am thinking of my parenting style. Since I regret that I dont know swimming , I naturally tend to mandate it for my kid. Might be good , as it is a direct experience ! Tomorrow he will not regret like me ! He can do scuba and swim into oceans. But MIGHT BE !

He is into other classes too.. Take karate class, easy example  : Its almost a year , he has not got his yellow belt ! “oh, so long, still he has not cleared yellow belt” , was a comment from a gossip nosy lady neighbour. “So, what should I do after he gets yellow belt ? “ was my question. “He will achieve, and go to next levels, he can become state level champion also if you push him “, was the defendant answer.

I put a smile , that really popped from my heart. Again I asked “ok, good i can push him to get yellow, black, brown belts , and my son will become a champion one day, great ! So whats next ? ” 

Now, she got bigger eyes and was wondering what to answer. I just said “There is a difference between motivation and pushing. A child gets enthu and will be able to enjoy when we motivate and at the same time will have reverse effects when pushed ! I have been pushed on few things and motivated on few during my childhood. Today where I am successful is the areas where I was motivated !

After all, though he is my son, he is also another individual human being who has his talents and interests, I should give him that space, so its ok, let him get yellow belt when he feels motivated”. 

33817163.cmsThere stopped the conversation and I walked alone, thinking more on these.. Most of us do the same thing in education as well. We push kids to get study more, answer correctly, write neatly, win competitions. So when they achieve those, what next ? Do we give them a relaxation or push for next levels ??

Feel free to add on your thoughts also .. along with me …

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