It is almost an un-documented fact that the man in the family has to work to earn for living. The woman in the family need / need not work, based on the family’s financial needs and her interest. But, her work is to take care of the family – from cooking till cleaning. That is how we have a culture and generations built up so its not easy to bring a change. But, did we really think what is this career ? Work is something that we do to earn something. But career is the one we have to choose with wisdom. It should be associated with your interest, with your passion, it should be your cup of tea, at the same time, should help your income too. You can compromise on your interest at work, but not on your career. It is a long term word, associated with your heart and talent.
So, when a woman gives up her career, it means she is actually breaking up with her long love, she is closing the chapter of her ‘talent’ in her autobiography. There can be a pause, a comma, but full stop to career is like having your hands but not using it. The feel of ‘responsibility’ , ‘owning a task’, ‘thirst to complete on time’, ‘thinking out of the box’, ‘inspiring co-workers’, ‘guiding juniors’ – Career gives you more enjoyment. There is a lot of self learning. You get groomed as a personality. I dont intend to say that you loose all this when you quit your job and decide to be a ‘stay at home’ woman. Of course, you own your responsibilities at home, you have thirst to think out of the box for your children etc. However, this is not the dream we had when we were going to school. This is not out mind and body practiced when we chose our college course. While we respect the beautiful roles we take in our life, – as a daughter, as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter in law , as a friend, we really think of doing justice to the role and gives our best. However, we forget the word ‘self’ – we forget the role to take care of ourself. To keep our brain and talents activated.
Every individual is born with a talent and grows with a passion. So, being a wife / a mother – you don’t get the right to kill the individual’s talent. So, you can give up your work if it does not suit your work life balance. But, never give up your career. IT IS YOUR IDENTITY. It shows you who you are ! Find the love for your career, you will find a way to pursue it. And then slowly associate it with your financial requirements or you can keep it parallel and pursue it like a hobby or consulting.
Now to get on board with our career, women need a lot of support from her close circle, especially the spouse. When I told my best friend that I have a cook at home, his first response was “Aint you shameful to have someone else cook for your family ? Being a woman, what else you want to do, not making food ? Too much ! ” He knew that I am also a working woman, he knew that I have many tasks to complete before I go to work. But still this was his instant reaction. I was so unhappy for him, for what the culture and tradition has done to him. While we can order stuffs online with delivery charge, in order to save time to go, search and buy it in a shop, why can’t we have a maid / cook to give us that time to relax. However people and opinions differ. If you are very against in having a cook, then make sure to help your wife in cooking. In a way, you not helping / supporting also kills that individual lady’s career and passion. So, lend your shoulder instead of pointing your index finger on the TO DO list.
As part of my parenting blogs , I have also mentioned that children become more smart when they look up to their working mothers. They learn to adjust, they learn to compromise some nice time, but they learn how to balance , how to manage multiple things successfully. They understand quality time.
So, ladies – if the job is killing your heart, that is just a work for you to quit, but when it remains in your heart, even when you are on a break, then thats the passionate career you should pursue. Forget about other’s stopping you ! It is you who do not have any right to keep a full stop to your passionate career. DON’T KILL THE INDIVIDUAL !!!
My blog about A Man’s career here..