Simple Seven tips : Love life after kids

I know a couple so well,they are love marriage couple. The guy was in a different college, he used to bunk classes, go behind her to her college, through her way back home, he used to create memories with her, write poems for her , waits for her one second looks and finally she said “YES”, they had their best times , including their wedding, he got a great job, a very responsible one, at the same time, they got kids too. Life became very busy and beautiful. All they knew in their life was loving their kids, spending time with children, working hard, taking care of home. They felt that their life is so complete, until they became 60, when their kids were happily married and settled. They got retired from job, and life welcomes them to spend a leisurely feel good time with each other’s company. That is when they had realised that they missed to maintain their “love life” amidst the busy life they had. He really felt embarrassing to hold her hands and look into her eyes, she did not want to get hospitalised for that romantic hand-holding situation to happen. They both realised what a mistake it was not to look into their love life.

This blog is not about their story, this is just a general scenario in many couple’s life. So, here you go with simple seven tips on how to maintain your love life even after life gets busy and you get older 🙂

  1. Get addicted to a habit together : A habit need not be a process. Remember ? When you started knowing each other, your GM GE GN ILU messages that was regular, those messages which you both were looking forward to. Getting busy need not really make you delete such small lovely habits. Picking up his shirt / socks, adjusting her bindi also count.
  2. 13322160_10154183978379493_6676569240128163186_n.jpgMark your weekly calendar : We loves professionalism at office. Why don’t we have a little professionalism at home by blocking a particular day evening (e.g. : Friday night) for the time with spouse. Let the kids get cranky till 12 , let the household chores keep you busy, but still remember and look forward for the “both” time. You can watch a movie together or go for dinner alone or atleast a ride.
  3. 31829_423904374492_499912_n.jpgTake atleast one couple-only trip together : While you are so committed to your family and office for 365 days, you can figure out a couple of days to un-commit and go back to the ‘dating days’. Yes, kids might eat only one dosa instead of two (which you will feed). Yes, office work will get piled up. But, just shut down your ‘married’ system for a couple of days and spend a romantic date once a year atleast.
  4. Celebration and surprises : This is not a mandate to get her flowers and gifts . There is no mandate to get him a drink at all. But these days are just your chances to make life little more interesting, to break the monotonous lifestyle and give the goosebumps to your spouse. As we grow older, the girlie gifts to him and boyish gifts to her can grow up into ‘the special’ understanding your spouse gift. Remember, gift doesn’t have anything to do with money or expectation in return.
  5. Compliment : “Why is your hair cut too short this time?”, “what is wrong with your dress today?” “Something is missing in food today” – these kind of general feedback are common in married life . What reduces is the positive feedbacks which definitely light up your spouse’s day.
  6. 8235511-Young-couple-relaxing-and-listening-music-together-in-their-living-room-at-home-Stock-Photo.jpgBe the best friend : What would you love to do with your best friend ? Talk overnight ? Drink overnight ? Talk about stupid things that doesn’t matter ? Talk about your crushes ? Dirty jokes ? I understand it is not completely possible for you to treat your spouse as Best friend, but give a try. And if your spouse cannot be so free to you, think that you have not given him / her that space.
  7. DSC_0753Give personal space : How can giving space be a tip for ‘love life’ ? Well, this is in fact a very important tip to maintain the romance. Allow your spouse to pursue a hobby, definitely not a hobby that you want him / her to follow. Think of the initial days questions when you both met , “what is your favourite music? who is your favourite hero? do u read books ? do u like going out ? now answer yourself : “do you allow your spouse to read a book / listen to music peacefully / hang out ” ?  If you are a wife, do not poke your nose into his friend’s stories and give him the space. If you are a husband, baby sit kids for a while and happily send her out of the house to spend her time. That generates respect and multiplies love.

Hope the above tips interested you. Love becomes a wonderful feeling once we stop expecting, accepting the person even with his/her negatives and admire for the positives !

Feel free to share more tips from your end. Have a happy love life forever 🙂

 

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