What defines a MAN ?

“I am taking part in the #ShareTheLoad Challenge with Ariel and Aksharaat BlogAdda.”

Those were days, when women were meant for kitchen and they were allowed neither for education nor for work. All they knew and had to do was cooking and household work and serving family members.

Hats off to the great poets and activists of that era, who really made a revolution to get women their freedom !

The favourite most poet for any Tamilian would be MahaKavi Bharathiyar . He said

பட்டங்கள் ஆள்வதும்
சட்டங்கள் செய்வதும்
பாரினில் பெண்கள் நடத்தவந்தோம்

வீட்டுக்குளே பெண்ணை பூட்டி வைப்போம்
என்ற விந்தை மனிதன்
தலை கவிழ்ந்தான் !

Meaning : 

Education and governance are areas where we women will rule in this world !

Men will realise they cannot lock us inside the house !

Those liners have now become reality.. Yes ! What Bharathi forgot to think is this freedom is offered as an additional responsibility along with kitchen and household task.

Today’s men are definitely understanding and educated , they encourage their spouse to be educated, knowledgable, working woman, to give him suggestion on his work, to be independent woman etc. However, the gene of his great great ancestors or maybe the cultural trend is still inside,  that he also thinks household responsibility is a woman’s job alone. He helps her, but feels very great about even fetching water during dinner, when she does the complete cooking, waiting sincerely to hear his feedback.

Couple of questions raised inside me , wanted to raise this question inside each of you, which can be answered only by you to you…

1. Do you think it is practically possible to have a family where both husband and wife enters home evening with responsible feeling that both of them have to cook dinner, fold clothes, get kid’s homework done and pack little ones bag for next day ?

2. There are few families where men really share the load with the lady, but do they let it out with pride ? Or try to hide the fact hat they help the lady at home, feeling uncomfortable on what others will think about them.

3. As a lady, can you accept the fact that your husband is in the kitchen and you are relaxing for a day ?

I do accept the fact that certain scientific design for men and women are done in a way that men do all stronger work because of their physical build, women is definitely a soft tissued personality comparatively. Men’s interest and thought process cannot be the same as women. We love shopping, gossip, sentiments etc where in I hardly have seen a guy who loves these 3 facts. Same way I have not seen many women, who is a gadget freak or so mad on political news or loves any kind of sports…

So, coming back to our topic, the husband complains that when he enters home with all tension @ office, he has to focus on the little kids love waiting for “papa” time, he has to check if the electricity bills are paid, he cannot still come out of his meeting and action items with client next day. That is when the lady talks about neighbourhood gossip and he gets irritated to the core.

But, sir.. have you ever thought of what she goes through ? Forget the 25 days, has she complained big to you atleastt those 5 days ? When you say you did not have a proper lunch, when kids say they want their favourite dinner, she cooks with love, inspite of her busy and tired day ! Have your ever imagined a situation where a human being is sitting in office attending meetings, ‘bleeding’ ! Same human playing with kids to make them happy but ‘bleeding’ ! Same human , doing all household work , ‘bleeding’ ! We face it every month ! For everyone’s eyes, we are just standing , sitting, walking, working ! But at least for the husband’s eyes, if you can see WHAT we are going through, and when you share the load, we feel like a queen !

No ! The point is not to mention this natural reason and gain sympathy. The point is about how can you balance the family. What do we teach kids as the next culture w.r.t family

One day my maid did not come and my son saw me cleaning the vessels and he asked “Why mom is doing all this?” I said “Aunty is on leave today and vessels are dirty”

Next time when my maid was on leave , my son said “Mom, clean the vessels, dad and me will go to play”

That is when THE MAN of my house asked my son to wait, he helped me clean vessels, infact he asked the little one to help placing the vessels back after cleaning . My husband said “It is not only mom’s job to keep house clean dear, it is our work, our vessels, we all eat and enjoy right ? So, we all should clean together”.
Can there be a prouder moment for any woman? Mahakavi Bharathi – You defined how a woman should be ! Now its time, to define how a MAN should be ! The day not only relaxed me , but gave a great take away to my son, the next generation !

With no more gyann stories, I leave it to the reader’s mind to think of the situations, every one’s situation and ideas differ, hope you agree with the baseline of my thought .. Are you giving freedom to the lady or additional responsibilities ?